3 Things Not to Say to Someone with a Chronic Illness

1. “Why don’t you just try exercising more and eating healthier?”

This is one of the most common questions I get asked when I first tell a friend that I have a chronic illness. And while it may be a well-intentioned question, the reality is, autoimmune conditions do not yet have a cure, and eating well and exercising is unlikely to make one’s symptoms dissipate.

While some patients may swear by a certain diet, such as going gluten-free, or adopting a particular exercise regimen, many others do not see a noticeable difference in their symptoms, despite extensive lifestyle changes. Also, such a sentiment often puts an unnecessary burden on the patient, who may feel like they ‘deserve’ their disease for not adopting ‘enough’ of a healthy lifestyle, when in fact, many scientists believe that there is a strong genetic component to autoimmune and other inflammatory conditions, which is beyond the patient’s control.

So please, the next time you think to tell someone to eat more kale to cure their painful rheumatoid arthritis- think again.

2. “Are you sure that’s what you really have? Maybe it’s just depression?”

When someone confides in you that they have a chronic health condition, they want to feel supported. The last thing they want is a friend or family member putting doubt into their mind about their health.

Furthermore, many patients go years from doctor to doctor seeking an answer about their health problems. When they finally get a diagnosis- although shocking and often devastating- there is a certain amount of relief that one experiences in at least knowing ‘what you have’ and the reassurance that what you’re going through is real. Asking someone “if they’re sure” about their condition, is essentially invalidating their health issues, right when that individual has finally found some closure.

Finally, asking if “it’s just depression” is simply unacceptable. Studies have shown that people with autoimmune conditions have a higher incidence of mental health problems such as depression. However, this shouldn’t be brushed off as “just” depression. Moreover, when I personally have been asked this question in the past, it made me think, ‘is this person saying it’s all in my head?’ This, in turn, made me more reticent about sharing health-related news in the future.

3. “It can’t be that bad, can it? You’re just exaggerating!”

For someone else to brush off your disease is the ultimate slap in the face. Many people with chronic health problems have an invisible illness, meaning that on the outside, they may look fine, but on the inside, they are suffering. Symptoms like chronic pain, organ and tissue damage, and fatigue are not usually noticeable to the naked eye.

Even health care professionals often don’t empathize with their patients’ complaints, telling them that they are exaggerating, or accusing them of being a hypochondriac. The result is that the patient may internalize their suffering, and not turn to their physician or loved ones for the medical help and support they need.

Unless you yourself have experienced the relentlessness of having a chronic condition, you can never know what someone with an invisible illness is going through. All you can do is listen and be there for them.

 

Did you like these tips on what NOT to say to someone with a chronic illness? If so, please like, share, and comment below!

Top News in Autoimmunity – Week of Feb. 13, 2019

Benefit Event Organized for New York Woman with Scleroderma

A benefit event has been organized by the friends of Krislyn Manwaring, a 25-year old woman with Scleroderma living in Erin, NY.

Scleroderma is an autoimmune condition that causes the body’s soft tissue to harden. Manwaring, who is now on oxygen, is in need of a stem cell transplant. However, her health insurance won’t pay for it.

The benefit event will raise funds to go towards Manwaring’s transplant procedure. According to the event’s Facebook page, over 200 attendees have already RSVP’d for the event.

Young Woman Shares Journey with Autoimmune Encephalitis

Tori Calaunan, a young woman from Las Vegas, shares her journey with anti-NMDA receptor encephalitis with the Autoimmune Encephalitis Alliance.

While in nursing school, Calaunan felt some weakness in her right leg, but brushed it off as nothing serious. As the weakness continued to worsen, she also experienced confusion and dizziness. She passed a neuro test and MRI, however, and doctors told her that everything was fine.

She eventually checked into the ER, and stayed there for a month before transferring to a hospital in California, where she finally received her diagnosis of Autoimmune Encephalitis.

Family of Young Man with Rare Autoimmune Disease Outraged Over Drug Price Hike

Will Schuller, from Overland Park, Kansas, was 18 when he began experiencing extreme weakness. An avid runner, he was pulled out of high school when he struggled to walk down the hall, and stopped being able to go up the stairs.

He was eventually diagnosed with Lambert-Eaton Myasthenic Syndrome (LEMS), a chronic autoimmune disorder than affects muscle strength. LEMS is reported among 3,000 people in the US, and can dramatically impact one’s quality of life.

Schuller was prescribed a drug called 3,4-DAP, which made him feel better instantly. The drug was free as a result of an FDA program called ‘compassionate use’. The drug’s manufacturing rights, however, were sold to a company called Catalyst, which renamed the drug Firdapse, and raised the price to $375,000/year for the medication.

Schuller’s family decried the extreme price hike, stating that if it hadn’t been for this medication, their son would certainly be in a wheelchair. Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont called the price increase a ‘fleecing of American taxpayers’.

Schuller is now a senior studying mechanical engineering at the University of Tulsa. Read more about his story here.

Interested in reading more? See last week’s top news in autoimmunity here.